Zhang Liao Wenyuan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
800isenough) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
calvino2014-07-05 07:54 pm
800isenough) wrote in calvino2014-07-05 07:54 pm
I try to focus but everything's twisted
[The warrior does not fear death.
That much Zhang Liao is confident about. No matter the odds against him, he knows with iron clad certainty that death's threats and mocking tones fall on deaf ears.
And yet there is something still that trembles within his being. He isn't scared of dying, for that is part of the path of a warrior, and he accepts. But what gnaws at him, like a small but steady drill that slowly but surely chips at a chink in his diamond-hard resolve...it cannot be described with words, but can only be felt with his heart. And in matters of the heart, Zhang Liao has no mastery of them at all. He had thought himself stronger than this, and it's both painful and loathsome to him to stand outside the door and knock three times.
But the whispers of his conscience has turned into a roar, and he can no longer bury and deny them. Not when they are buried with the screams of the dead and departed.
Zhang Liao knocks and announces himself to the one man that could give him the clarity he seeks.]
Master Chen Gong. Pardon me for this intrusion but may I have a few words with you?
That much Zhang Liao is confident about. No matter the odds against him, he knows with iron clad certainty that death's threats and mocking tones fall on deaf ears.
And yet there is something still that trembles within his being. He isn't scared of dying, for that is part of the path of a warrior, and he accepts. But what gnaws at him, like a small but steady drill that slowly but surely chips at a chink in his diamond-hard resolve...it cannot be described with words, but can only be felt with his heart. And in matters of the heart, Zhang Liao has no mastery of them at all. He had thought himself stronger than this, and it's both painful and loathsome to him to stand outside the door and knock three times.
But the whispers of his conscience has turned into a roar, and he can no longer bury and deny them. Not when they are buried with the screams of the dead and departed.
Zhang Liao knocks and announces himself to the one man that could give him the clarity he seeks.]
Master Chen Gong. Pardon me for this intrusion but may I have a few words with you?
no subject
That should be the foundation of every good army.
[He lets out a quiet, self-depreciating chuckle.]
I have been so consumed with following the path of the warrior. And in doing so, I have not only fallen off it. I considered talk of strategies and tactics matters I should not concern myself with. As the warrior, I had thought that my role was simply to carry out orders. Instead of speaking to Lord Lu Bu and providing my counsel, I kept silent and allowed him to revile you when your words were all that could've kept us safe.
[Indeed, if he now's the honesty hour...he sort of liked it when you got your ass handed to you Chen Gong.]
I was more concerned with my own selfish goals. No wonder I have fallen to this sorry state.
no subject
Fate really is cruel. Not only is everything falling apart [HE SAID IT OUT LOUD] but the salt is being continuously rubbed in my wound. [Aka, gosh, shut up Zhang Liao. That really hammers the fact in, huh.
...The candle on his desk goes out, at the writing underneath it almost seems to melt away as the darkness settles. Oops.] That's the second candle this night. It must be getting late.
[...
Look, he's not really chasing you out. Not like Chen Gong is gonna sleep much, anyway.]
no subject
You could also be clearer on that. Zhang Liao takes that as a sign that Chen Gong wants to be left alone. Zhang Liao's pride and emotions have taken enough of a beating as it is.]
Pardon me then, Master Chen Gong. I shan't tarry any longer. Thank you for your time.
[He salutes. But before he leaves, he feels he should...probably make a better effort than that poor apology.]
Tomorrow may be the last battle for either of us. And though I still find your behaviour...distasteful, you are a far better strategist than I had expected. I would not call it an honor, but perhaps a better word is a privilege.