Zhang Liao Wenyuan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
800isenough) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
calvino2014-07-05 07:54 pm
800isenough) wrote in calvino2014-07-05 07:54 pm
I try to focus but everything's twisted
[The warrior does not fear death.
That much Zhang Liao is confident about. No matter the odds against him, he knows with iron clad certainty that death's threats and mocking tones fall on deaf ears.
And yet there is something still that trembles within his being. He isn't scared of dying, for that is part of the path of a warrior, and he accepts. But what gnaws at him, like a small but steady drill that slowly but surely chips at a chink in his diamond-hard resolve...it cannot be described with words, but can only be felt with his heart. And in matters of the heart, Zhang Liao has no mastery of them at all. He had thought himself stronger than this, and it's both painful and loathsome to him to stand outside the door and knock three times.
But the whispers of his conscience has turned into a roar, and he can no longer bury and deny them. Not when they are buried with the screams of the dead and departed.
Zhang Liao knocks and announces himself to the one man that could give him the clarity he seeks.]
Master Chen Gong. Pardon me for this intrusion but may I have a few words with you?
That much Zhang Liao is confident about. No matter the odds against him, he knows with iron clad certainty that death's threats and mocking tones fall on deaf ears.
And yet there is something still that trembles within his being. He isn't scared of dying, for that is part of the path of a warrior, and he accepts. But what gnaws at him, like a small but steady drill that slowly but surely chips at a chink in his diamond-hard resolve...it cannot be described with words, but can only be felt with his heart. And in matters of the heart, Zhang Liao has no mastery of them at all. He had thought himself stronger than this, and it's both painful and loathsome to him to stand outside the door and knock three times.
But the whispers of his conscience has turned into a roar, and he can no longer bury and deny them. Not when they are buried with the screams of the dead and departed.
Zhang Liao knocks and announces himself to the one man that could give him the clarity he seeks.]
Master Chen Gong. Pardon me for this intrusion but may I have a few words with you?
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Born to a tyrant. Lived by a tyrant. Chen Gong could've killed Cao Cao when he has the chance, and he's not sure if he regrets his decision. But Ling Qi's only real freedom was the choice to participate directly in battle, or not. Obviously, most women don't have too many choices in life, but Ling Qi especially less so. None of them had much choice after Lu Bu's campaigns went downhill.
It's almost kind of terrible. So, if Zhang Liao is so worried...]
Just make sure that Lord Cao Cao does not get his hands on her. Most would underestimate a woman, and she'll be able to fight them off just fine. [...] But Lord Cao Cao has a tendency to take the women he encounters in battle as concubines.
[He's gonna be frank here. Chen Gong's guessing you probably don't want her to end up as his concubine, Zhang Liao.] Master Lu Bu himself should be watching over her, though. [Basically, if Lu Bu ends up fighting for anyone to live, it's gonna be Ling Qi.]
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And of course everyone's hear of Tsao Tsao's...war trophies. Not only Lady Ling Qi, but Lady Diaochan as well...these two would definitely be dragged off to join the range of women in the inner palace, forced to serve Tsao Tsao for the rest of their lives. The thought makes his stomach twist and is enough to spark some of his old fighting spirit.
Maybe if he couldn't fight for himself, he could fight for them instead.]
Would you have any say on where she will be positioned?
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What are you planning? Why does he have a faint idea of it?]
Of course I do! If there's anyone who listens to me without question, it's her. [Which is just another sign of how horribly deluded she is. Chen Gong isn't a backstabber or an unpleasant man of any sort in her eyes. No, he's one of the people working valiantly to lead her father to victory. A man wiser than any other she's known, one to seek advice and guidance from.
That is an incredibly unhealthy impression of Chen Gong.]
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[If she ever found out Zhang Liao had been discussing this, he knows she'll never forgive him. But that's fine with him.]
Therefore, please ensure she is near your person at all times. My blade can cut through steel and iron but in terms of tactics and strategies, I fear that once Tsao Tsao makes his move I may be hard pressed to ensure her safety. I will be fighting with our lord and he will surely be the target of the enemy. It would not be wise to have her near us.
I believe that your understanding of the battlefield far outshines mine. And as you say, she listens to your counsel; should the tide turn against us I will entrust her to your best judgement of the situation.
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Understood. [Did he really just say that-] She isn't as hard to manage as Master Lu Bu, thankfully. It won't be hard to ensure the survival of one person.
[She'll live, then. If anything, Lu Bu himself will make sure of it, as long as he is alive.]
...My, we're speaking as though we're already on our death beds! My genius could very well turn the tables. [Haha. Ha. Yeah.]
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Still, he is grateful that Chen Gong is helping him out here. So in return he says nothing on that. And this chat with Chen Gong has at least helped him to see his position a little clearer; he's gone astray quite badly but at the very least he can ensure that the most innocent out of them all escapes with her life. It doesn't sit well with him that out of all of them, she'll have to be the one to pick up the pieces after they're all dead and gone (would Chen Gong perish along with them? He has no idea). But so long as she breathes she'll be able to chart her own path, hopefully one that isn't as destructive as the one her father walked on.
This isn't honor. Nor is it might. Could it be weakness? He's not sure. But he doesn't...think it's so terrible to consider other people's lives ahead of his own.
So just briefly, he allows the smallest of smiles to flicker, and he'll express his gratefulness to Chen Gong.]
Thank you, Master Chen Gong. It eases my spirit to know that at least she shall be safe. I've watched her grow from a girl to the young woman she is now; I would not want her cut down in her prime.
[And the smile turns off, fading back into something that betrays how sad Zhang Liao is about this.]
...though if it should come to it, it is sad for a child to grow up without a father.
[He sounds like it's something that personally doesn't stick well with him.]
tl;dr: shoehorned family angst from ROTK
Moving on, though. Zhang Liao's last sentence actually strikes a chord in the strategist, which is incredibly rare. And perhaps somewhat of a good thing in a situation like this. When he decided to follow his ambition and follow his goal, Chen Gong left quite a handful of people behind in order to spread his name across the land. And if he succeeded (he will succeed he will), they'd hear it too. And they'd know he got what he left for.
But it looks like his mother and daughter will never hear his name again, besides each other's lips. And while he doesn't let the fact that it kinda hurts show at all, that doesn't render it null and void. He opposed Lu Bu's various attempts at marrying his daughter off for alliances, and while he was pretty sure they were simply due to strategic reasoning, everything he's believed in is being questioned now. Including his own thoughts. Not to mention the fact that Lu Bu eventually grew quite attached to his daughter...
It's kind of familiar. And kind of sad. When was the last time he even saw...?]
Such is the way of war. And least, when the land is eventually united, things will change.
[Chen Gong might be intentionally trying to sound indifferent right now.]
headcanon headcanon HEADCANON
But then again, Zhang Liao isn't one to talk. He's never revealed anything about his life before he joined the army. No one will know that he's leaving a fair number of younger siblings behind and an ageing mother, though he has made an effort to keep in touch with them. His last letter...he sent that back when Liu Bei was still at Xiaopei. How time flies...]
As cruel as it sounds, I have to agree with you.
[And if he had known Chen Gong was leaving a daughter behind, he might have actually spoken up right here and now; take Lady Ling Qi with you, take her and go back to your family and live. Glory is a dead thing to Zhang Liao; he doesn't know what it means anymore.
Unfortunately, what is communication between these two? Such private matters are sacrosanct, though he raises the issue in a slightly different way.]
...would you consider it a warrior's might, to care for those under his command?
delicious nutritious headcanon and history-matching
God, he sounds like Cao Cao now.
Which reminds him- his family was still at Dongjun. Under Cao Cao's command. Chen Gong knows the man enough to deduce that, ruthless as he may be, he will have little to gain from killing the relatives of a strategist who has already defected. But minimal to no contact has to be kept with them to ensure Chen Gong's assumption of Cao Cao's selective mercy doesn't become a blunder. It's not that he doesn't want to send letters. It's not that he doesn't want to run home. They live under Cao Cao's rule. He literally can't.
And never will, because they failed to kill Cao Cao at Puyang, and it looks like Lu Bu is almost trying to keep the fucker alive. If they could just kill Cao Cao, they could've taken over Dongjun after picking on his forces that will scatter and panic at their leader's death. They could've made things so much easier.
But life rarely goes how you want it to.]
Some would call it foolish, rather than a warrior's might. [...] But the land would never support someone without benevolence. It's true in history, and will stay true for quite a length of time. I myself have no opinion on the matter, but the people believe it to be part of a warrior's might. They seem to love stories of how people with kind hearts overcome their initial reluctance to battle and devote themselves to the greater good, so on so forth.
[He'll just leave it at that.]
on nom nom nom
[ He speaks neutrally. Liu Bei...he's nice, and Zhang Liao has seen how the people love him, but Liu Bei strikes him more of a man for peace times rather than the chaos around them. It is the presence of Liu Bei's brothers that lend weight to his words; if not for Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, Liu Bei would have little to back him up with.
Overall, not a very inspiring man. ]
...how can a man who does not wish to fight earn the respect of those who need his protection?
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[But he has more to say than that.] Think of it this way... let's say that someone does not wish to fight, but is mature enough to understand it needs to happen, and has the strength to do it in the first place. Someone of that disposition will have resolved an inner struggle with themselves, and are much more likely to charge into battle for what people consider the 'noble' reasons. The land looks up to not only the physically strong, but the clear-minded, the mentally adept. 'Benevolent' figures of the past always seem to follow such a formula.
[Trust the neutral party with absolutely none of the traits he just mentioned to give a low-down on morality and leadership.] Obviously, not many people are quite like that.
I do not believe Liu Bei has the mental strength and maturity to fit that 'benevolent figure'. Of course, this is simply an assumption.
You used the B word.
...and then a thought occurs to him.]
Perhaps what you refer to is not the might of a warrior, but a leader. Liu Bei speaks often of the people and how he wishes to bring peace back to the land for their benefit. That is why the people fight for him. [And how they adore him too.] I wonder then if a leader's might is derived from the ideals he fights for, while the warrior's might comes from his strength.
I do not believe that warriors as powerful as Lord Lu Bu and Master Guan Yu wield less might than Liu Bei. But perhaps Liu Bei has his own strength drawn from his benevolence and his kindness, and that is why he is regarded as a benevolent leader.
i used the B word so many times my clothes turned green
That make sense.
If he was thinking that deeply about this, anyway.]
And together, they make the might of an army. [Ho hum.] Someone could have his or her own might, but it could mean little until combined with someone else's. Is that what you mean?
[So, you're a mighty warrior, Zhang Liao- but under Lu Bu, that means nothing. Zilch. Nadda.]
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That should be the foundation of every good army.
[He lets out a quiet, self-depreciating chuckle.]
I have been so consumed with following the path of the warrior. And in doing so, I have not only fallen off it. I considered talk of strategies and tactics matters I should not concern myself with. As the warrior, I had thought that my role was simply to carry out orders. Instead of speaking to Lord Lu Bu and providing my counsel, I kept silent and allowed him to revile you when your words were all that could've kept us safe.
[Indeed, if he now's the honesty hour...he sort of liked it when you got your ass handed to you Chen Gong.]
I was more concerned with my own selfish goals. No wonder I have fallen to this sorry state.
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Fate really is cruel. Not only is everything falling apart [HE SAID IT OUT LOUD] but the salt is being continuously rubbed in my wound. [Aka, gosh, shut up Zhang Liao. That really hammers the fact in, huh.
...The candle on his desk goes out, at the writing underneath it almost seems to melt away as the darkness settles. Oops.] That's the second candle this night. It must be getting late.
[...
Look, he's not really chasing you out. Not like Chen Gong is gonna sleep much, anyway.]
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You could also be clearer on that. Zhang Liao takes that as a sign that Chen Gong wants to be left alone. Zhang Liao's pride and emotions have taken enough of a beating as it is.]
Pardon me then, Master Chen Gong. I shan't tarry any longer. Thank you for your time.
[He salutes. But before he leaves, he feels he should...probably make a better effort than that poor apology.]
Tomorrow may be the last battle for either of us. And though I still find your behaviour...distasteful, you are a far better strategist than I had expected. I would not call it an honor, but perhaps a better word is a privilege.