Sometimes I wish I could save you.

[formybrothers]

[They often say: "be careful what you wish for, it may come true." But who even believes in flimsy things like wishes anyway? Wishes can't put food on the table, or heal the sick, or right the wrongs in the world.

Wishes don't bring back the dead.

It's a cold and cruel world; some might argue that it's better to kill off such childish fantasies to prepare the young for the harsh inevitabilities of life. But tonight the stars seem brighter than usual, and the moon is a huge, nearly golden ball that's hanging in the sky, it's light pouring into the dark crevices of the world and shining hope into them.

The crickets are in a frenzy, the flowers, strange enough are still in bloom, and their sweet smell induces a dull but strangely pleasant lethargy in both mind and body.

A single white crane perches on the sole rock in the pond, preening its feathers. It's pure colour nearly causes it to glow in the dark...or maybe it is glowing? Who knows. Whatever it's doing here though, it's almost as if the garden has been changed into a dreamlike world tonight, where perhaps...

...wishes can come true.]

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[nolongerachild]

[...Except that you still have to work for them. Nothing in life is free, and his father was very good in teaching that. He taught them all to fight for what they wanted- and to make sure they were confident in what they wanted.

And Xing is confident he is willing to do this. Over, and over, and over.

The crane paddles against the water before the flutter of its wings manage to wake Xing up completely. The sky is clear- but the rain clouds are coming. He doesn't need to look. He knows they'll come.

They always come.

Tonight, it will rain. It will rain, and rain, as the soldiers persist in their attack on Fan Castle- it will not stop raining. The only mercy in such a flood is that no one can tell there's tears mixed in the torrents.

He knows is father is up. His siblings will be asleep, and when these memories were the present, Xing would've turned on his other side and fall back into slumber as the crane flew away. But he hasn't done that.

Not in quite some time.]

Father?

[Not in a few months.]

[formybrothers]

[His father is reading in the next room by candle light, one arm still wrapped up from Pang De's poison arrow; despite Hua Tuo's best efforts, a stabbing ache in his bone stubbornly persists to emerge in times of cold wind and rain. The physician had warned him about it and while Guan Yu had silently written off the warning (after all, the doctor had yet to treat a man of his calibre before), he's coming to realise that Hua Tuo had been dead right. It's nothing he can't handle, just a minor irritant that he won't let anyone see bother him, but in the quiet of the night and with everyone asleep Guan Yu had decided to remove the armor on that arm and position it near the warmth of the fire, finally heeding the words of wisdom given to him on how to limit the dull pain.

Safe for the guards on patrol he hadn't expected anyone else to be awake at this hour, and certainly not anyone allowed into his study. But he knows that voice well, and he looks up from his book and allows a rare smile at his son.]

You should rest, my son. We have a victory to claim tomorrow.